Selfies & Screenshots: Everything I Wore to Work
Profesh outfits by the mother lode, rejecting mum guilt, and mothering remotely™️
It’s Mother’s Day, but ironically, it’s been a week of very little mothering.
In fact, if I were being judged by a mothering panel, which for some reason in my head consists of Kerry Washington, Angela Bassett, and Emma Grede… they’d give me a solid NINE for effort, TWO for presence. (Though based on Grede’s three-hour mum hot take, maybe that’d bump my score).
I’ve been gone two weeks out of four this month. Washington DC and San Francisco. Lots of FaceTimes with my kids’ foreheads, lots of random hotels rewatching adorable videos on my camera roll, lots of airports, lots of goodbyes. But also, the reunions! The squishy hugs as I’m shocked how much they missed me (there’s a meme that being a Boy Mum is like hanging out with a guy who’s just not that into you – it’s SO TRUE!)
If you have also been working, playing, whatever-ing far from your kids this week, here’s some tips for mothering remotely:
Be where your feet are. This is my fav travel mantra. By 5pm on Thursday I was done. My social battery was flashing empty, I had about four hours of meetings and socializing to go, I was dealing with a problem for my CEO for my second role… when husband happened to text that my little boy was uncharacteristically sad and missing me. I went to the bathroom and almost cried. I wasn’t there and he missed me! But I looked myself in the eyes and said these words, which always work when I get overwhelmed. Be where your feet are — be present, stay grounded, you can’t be in two places at once, stop trying.
Find the positives, focus on them. Time with a team I enjoy, sleep uninterrupted (by children at least— hotel sleep is hit or miss). An iced matcha that no little hands attempt to grab, steal and/or spill everywhere — a drink you actually get to consume!
Don’t feel mum guilt. Just don’t feel it. Reject it from your system like a bad curry. Someone once told me that only the great mums worry about being great mums. So I worry about a lot of things (I’d love to expel that from my system) but I do not feel guilt about being a working mother.
So. While I won’t be bragging to anyone about proximity to my kids this Mother’s Day… I can offer you a load of outfits with a working girl flavour from the trips I’ve done this month.
DC Travel Day
Off to the races. I had a 1pm departure which gave me enough time to get the kids up, feed them, and load them up for husband to do drop off. Then got myself together and got on my way.
Cross-country trip, so 5.5 hours on the plane, enough that you feel it. Went with a comfy tee and trouser combo. I want to be able to fall asleep in the clothes, but look polished enough that it doesn’t feel weird when I inevitably bump into a colleague in the airport. These trousers fit the bill – tie waist, drapey, subtle tailoring. The trench hides a multitude of sins and refines everything, always. And the brown bag with the heritage details adds some formality despite its slouch.
SF Travel Day
Same trench, different story. The base of this outfit is blues with the bag, jeans, and shoes keeping things mellow.
San Francisco is such a casual city, I could get away with the trench adding a little drama, but chilling everything else all the way out.
DC 1st Outfit
DC’s buttoned-up personality always throws me at first. And landing at night is a bit disorienting style-wise. I spent ten mins craning my neck from my hotel to try and get outfit context from people on the street. Sadly I was too high up to see actual outfits, so I went with my gut.
It was a day of being in office with collagues all day, and then we always head to dinner, and then a night cap which inevitably ends up being 2 hours long. So really, dressing for 9am-10pm+. The brown and blue stripe worked well together and gave formal without actually being too dressed up.
The fun slides moment to shine!
They brought some levity which was very welcome in this outfit that didn’t feel altogether me. Which is weird given I wore almost the exact same thing in SF the week before and loved it – thoughts on why coming below.
SF 1st Outfit
I really liked this! The oversized blazer added the polish along with the structure of the bag. The cuffed jeans, messy bun, and shoes brought the chill.
Bonus fit, I got to meet my SF-dwelling bestie for drinks and wore this. My comfy but dressy trouser, mary-janes, and my fav sweatshirt because one always needs an extra layer in the city.
PS. Peep my Cuyana travel set in the background. It’s no exaggeration to say I travel nowhere without them.
DC 2nd Outfit
Back in formal DC, finally feel like I got there with this outfit. It feels very much me but also DC. It helps that it rained that day, so adding an extra layer was warranted. And the colour story, pleating, and a belt that added formality meant I could get away with a tee to the office.
This was my fav outfit of DC week. So throwing in a matching bevvy because why not keep the good times rolling?!
SF 2nd Outfit
Back in SF, this was my fav outfit of the week. Flippies to work is bold I know, but in a city where running leggings are acceptable workwear and an old boss once came to work in a biking shammy (my eyes, oh gosh my eyes), flippies it is.
A few things make this better than the earlier version in DC. 1 – I had an extra button undone, which gave a deeper v, widened the line of the neck, and made it more dramatic contrast to the high waist of the trousers. 2 – I had straight hair here and curly earlier. Hair is a styling tool! I wrote about how it shift a whole fit. And 3 – the peek of the flipflops and my feet gives more visual balance than the colourful slides I wore earlier — but I would not dare wear them in DC.
You’re being a bit extra, Nicole.
Reader, you may be correct, but we’re allll about context here. Dressed in Questions is not the name of this little corner of the internet ;)
DC Home Outfit
All in all it was a very shirt-heavy week in DC. I did not bring a blazer and regretted it. I could (and would) have worn a pair of blue jeans with a blazer thrown over, which would have been very in keeping with the local vibe. Instead, I relied on my trench and shirts, which was fine, but not my fav week of outfits. Nevertheless — back to my babies I go!
SF Home Outfit
A touch warm for April, but this was my favourite outfit, and totally me. I loved the layering and the colour combo — will be keeping this one in my back pocket for autumn.
Overall, I loved my SF outfits far more than my DC. And though we can blame it on the fact that I lived in The Bay and know it like the back of my hand, where DC remains a style black box, we can also attribute it to packing. I packed far less and had so many more wins.
Which brings us to just a few screenshots…
Thanks to Cristina Ashbaugh doing the thing by explaining a new (to me) packing concept. It’s worked a treat!
Was moved to capture this outfit from Angharad Jones Best. A pop of colour, the peek of texture, and a flip flop is a bit of me — loved this.
And Viv Chen is glowy excellence in this dress. I love when people manage to stay true to their style even in moments of extreme contextual difference — formal, casual, it’s them. The color, the shape, the clutch are all just so good.
And that’s it – back to my babes, just in time to be regaled for Mother’s Day.
Thank goodness the mothering panel isn’t a real thing (though society can feel that way at times). Whether you were with your kids so much it drove you crazy, or you had to dip into all the mothering remotely resources at your disposal, Happy Mothers Day – all I hope for you (and me) is a really bloody good nap. kbyeee!
ICYMI
What to Wear When the Work Stakes are HIGH
I met Kamala Harris at a work event in LA last week.
When I say met… I mean, I hugged her, was embarrassingly close to shedding tears, and showed her a picture of my then-baby virtually attending her 2020 inauguration...
Hair as the ultimate styling tool: The big curly hair bible
Firstly, thank you for being here! I started talking and you all pulled up with popcorn to hang with me. I’m still the new girl here, but the welcome has been beautiful. Keep chatting to me, it’s the best!
Fall Packing Essentials For A Working Girly
“Dressed in Context” is a play on the question celebs are often asked on the red carpet: Who are you wearing? Who dressed you? For me, it’s not about the who, but the what.
Another amazing travel recap! Seeing the difference between the same outfit in SF and DC is wild!! Goes to show styling details are everything.
Having grown up in DC and also worked in a corporate environment there for many years, I feel you on the style. It’s hard! And the extra button on the shirt did make a huge difference. Question - do you wear a cami/tank under for work? This is partly why I wear more button downs casually than for work - don’t want to inadvertently flash anyone!